Getting Older, Something To Make You Feel Better

This should make you smile

100-year-old-smoker

SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,

‘How old was your husband?’ ’98,’ she replied.

‘Two years older than me’

‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.

She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

‘And what do you think is the best thing

About being 104?’ the reporter asked.

She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’


The nice thing about being senile is

You can hide your own Easter eggs.


I’ve sure gotten old!

I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes

I’m half blind,

Can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

Take 40 different medications that

Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.

Have bouts with dementia

Have poor circulation;

Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.

Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.

Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,

I still have my driver’s license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

So I got my doctor’s permission to

Join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,

By the time I got my leotards on,

The class was over.

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It’s scary when you start making the same noises

As your coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff

In my shopping cart says,

For fast relief.’


THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

The eyesight to tell the difference.


Always Remember This:

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing!!


Now, tell a friend and make their day too!

Thinking you might need to get out fast?  Click Here:

Advertisements

~ by justmytruth on March 25, 2009.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: